Your special day .. some practical questions

How do I book the church?
As soon as you have decided you would like to get married in church, get in touch with your local parish priest to see whether the church is free on your preferred date.   Click here for directory details of parishes in Ripon and Leeds
Your priest or minister will probably wish to meet with you in person to discuss your plans.

What are the legal requirements?
You must have your banns read out in church for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.  Banns are an announcement of your intention to marry and a chance for anyone to put forward a reason why the marriage may not lawfully take place.  Banns need to be read in the parish where each of you lives as well as at the church in which you are to be married if that is another parish.  (In some cases there may be an alternative to banns – see the Church of England web site.)
If you are under the age of eighteen, you must have your parents’ consent to marry.
There are special guidelines on church marriage if you have been divorced:  see the separate question on this issue.

How much will it cost?
The legal fees for a marriage cover the publication of the banns, certificate of banns (if necessary), the marriage service and a certificate of marriage.  These fees are fixed centrally and will cost between £180 and £250.
These fees do not cover any extras you may wish to have for the service, such as a choir, organist, bell-ringers, special lighting, fees for video recording and so on.  Check with your parish priest about the cost and availability of these things.

Can I choose what kind of service I want?
You may be able to choose between a modern language service or one in more traditional language.  Talk over the options with your parish priest.  There are usually one or more readings from the Bible in the service – your parish priest can help you select the most appropriate.  There will also be some prayers, which you may help to choose, or you may write your own.  You may also decide to have someone other than the minister leading the prayers.
The minister will probably give a brief talk or sermon.
If you have friends or family members you would like to involve in the service, for example by doing a reading or playing a musical instrument, discuss this with your parish priest at an early stage of your planning.

What if one of us is divorced?
The Church of England teaches that marriage is for life.  It also recognizes that, sadly, some marriages do fail and, if this should happen, it seeks to be available for all involved.  The Church accepts that, in exceptional circumstances, a divorced person may marry again in church during the lifetime of a former spouse.
If you are thinking about asking to be married in church, you should discuss this with your local parish priest. Please do this well before choosing a date for your wedding.
Some priests may be willing to take such a marriage, others may not be prepared to do so, on grounds of conscience, and may not allow the use of their church either. The law of the land permits them this choice.

If your parish priest is willing to discuss the possibility of conducting your marriage, he/she will want to talk to you frankly about the past, your hopes for the future and your understanding of marriage. You and your intended spouse should therefore be prepared to consider some questions. You are advised to reflect beforehand on the issues they raise – and should be prepared to answer them honestly, (a form and explanatory statement, Marriage in church after divorce, may be downloaded from www.cofe.anglican.org/papers/mcad.pdf or ordered from Church House Bookshop, phone 020 7898 1300, www.chbookshop.co.uk).  If it is not possible for your proposed marriage to take place in church, your priest may consider other alternatives with you, such as a Service of Prayer and Dedication after a civil ceremony

ON THE DAY - A Guide to the Wedding Ceremony in Church

Many people feel very nervous before their wedding. They start worrying about the things that could go wrong. For many of us, our wedding is the first timen we have been involved in such a large scale public act. The Church is aware of your anxieties and there are many safeguards in place to ensure that you can relax as much as possible and enjoy the momentous day.

Arrangements for the big day
It is important to consult with your vicar about the contents of the service before the order of service is printed. The order of service may contain the words to your chosen hymns and will help the congregation to follow the stages of the ceremony. It will also make a lovely keepsake of the service itself.
It is also helpful to speak to the vicar about confetti, videotaping, photographs during the service, decorating the church and your preferred hymns before you make any decisions. The church may have its own guidelines about some of these things and your vicar will have lots of experience of what works well.

Practice makes perfect
  Shortly before the wedding day itself, the vicar will invite you to a rehearsal in church. This is a great opportunity to calm those nerves and get used to the pattern of the ceremony. Before you invite your supporters club to come along with you, check with the vicar whether he or she thinks they should be present for the rehearsal. Different clergy have different views, but there is certainly something to be said for keeping the numbers attending the rehearsal small.
You will probably feel more relaxed once you realise that you don't have tp remember anything. Your mind may go blank on the day, but the vicar will talk you through every stage of the service, even telling you how to stand or when to sit. You can repeat the vows, so you don't need to memorize the words you will be using.

The wedding service in church
Your vicar will probably spend some time explaining the contents of the service to you, but here is a brief summary of what will happen:
The groom, best man and ushers will arrive about 30-45 minutes early. They will be responsible for giving out the orders of service and showing guests to their seats. Usually, the front pews are reserved for close family members.
It is helpful for everyone waiting in the church for the bride to arrive on time! When she does she may be escorted into church by her father or another chosen person (not necessarily a man) or the bride and groom may enter the church together. The traditional ceremony of "giving away" is optional. Instead (if you request it) the vicar may ask the parents of both bride and groom if they entrust their son and daughter to one another.

The vicar will welcome everyone to the service and give introduction. There will be a reading from the Bible and a hymn may be sung. Next comes the marriage itself:

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